May, the month of two bank holidays, is nearly over and looking back now we seem to have packed quite a lot in. We’ve had a few busy but fun weekends – including this last one where we visited the Geronimo children’s festival in Cheshire – and a lot of driving across the Pennines as our house move grows nearer and our plans become firmer and more real.
In the middle of the month we sold our house and had an offer accepted on another in the same day, and I think it’s still only just sinking in now that it’s really going to happen. I’m doing my usual thing of keeping myself so busy I don’t have time to question it too much, and when I do I just imagine what Roger would say about it if he were here. I know he’d say don’t overthink it, it’s the right thing for you and just go for it. He wasn’t one for too much fussing or worrying and in a month where there have been plenty of downs as well as ups, trying to think more like he would has been a bit of a saving grace.
I’m over in Yorkshire as I write this and much as I love the Wirral, I do feel at home here and I know it’s a place where we can all be happy. I’m not hoping for miracles, just a little bit more stability, support and positivity. I think we’ll all benefit from having something to take our minds off our sadness and give us a new focus for a while.
Sam has been quite emotional this month and that has meant I have been too; I’ve turned to reading any parenting book I can get my hands on to try to find the answer, even though I decided about six years ago there probably wasn’t one when it comes to kids! I know it must be so hard on him to just have his mum left as a parent, especially at times when I’m feeling down and he sees me shed a tear over missing his dad.
After a few difficult weeks I thought I’d go back a step and re-read some of the children’s books I bought about bereavement about this time last year. I’d built up a bit of a tolerance to them after regular readings – Always and Forever in particular used to make me cry right from the very first page – but that lump in my throat has definitely been there when I’ve been reading them again this week. I was so proud of Sam though when he looked at me crying, hugged me and said even though dad’s not here we still have each other. He may be testing me emotionally but he’s still an absolute sweetheart!
So back to the fun part of our month – we went to a family-friendly rave last week which was amazing, and Geronimo this weekend. I think each of these photos was taken by a different person at the festival, as I knew I needed a decent photo of the three of us and the kids’ could only tolerate two or three snaps at a time. I think the one I like best is the selfie I took with my digital camera just before we left. It was right after we came out of a pink double-decker My Little Pony bus, and Flo had had the pony treatment with a Rainbow Dash symbol painted on her little cheek.
This girl loves face paints and was so happy with her cute little rainbow sign, I know she’s not even three but she is just such a girly girl – anything pink, glittery or doll-like and she’s there. I had to stifle a laugh when we queued up for a glitter tattoo only to be told they weren’t doing any more, and she stamped her foot and said ‘I need glitter!’ in full diva-ish fashion. Don’t we all need a bit of glitter, hey?
So that was our May. Today is my dad’s birthday and hopefully we’ll be going out for lunch somewhere to celebrate. I hope someone brings the glitter…
This post is linked up with the Me and Mine project – hosted by Dear Beautiful, Bump to Baby, Capture By Lucy, Let’s Talk Mommy, Mummy Daddy Me and Tigerlilly Quinn – where you take a photograph a month of your family all together.