I’d just like to say a huge thank you to everyone who has read, commented on and shared my blog this week, mainly because our story has appeared in several newspapers and websites, primarily the Liverpool Echo. What started out as a bit of a hobby has turned into the starkest expression of real life I could ever have imagined. Being able to share our story in this way has always helped me, but now I see how it’s helping others that makes me feel both humbled and priveledged.
This week I’ve welcomed so many new readers (thank you all!) and had lots of really touching messages – not only from friends of mine, but from old friends of Roger’s and strangers who’ve been moved by what we’re going through. I’ve heard from people who lost their parents at a young age, who want to share their experiences and offer really valuable advice as to how best to cope and try to get through it. I’ve had several emails from people who are going through a similar thing right now, both men and women who are facing the loss of their partners and the thought of a future bringing up their children alone.
I’ve been told several times that my writing has made people cry, and for that I do apologise, as when I write I’m usually feeling stronger and where it’s cathartic for me, it’s sad for those reading from afar. In the same vein I can usually read my own words back without shedding a tear, but struggle to read the messages and emails I’ve had this week without having a little cry. When something like this happens you can feel so alone, so helpless, but to read what others are going through too suddenly makes you feel you’re not so alone after all. Although I can’t think about how I might cope in the future now, I have found comfort in the letters of those who have been there and got through on the other side.
I’ve had a real sense of being able to help people this week and in a way that’s eased some of the tiredness I felt last week and given me a bit of extra strength to get through another tough week. This rollercoaster ride we are on just keeps on throwing extra hurdles our way, and we’re just holding on tight and trying to go with them for fear that one day they won’t be there at all.
The best bit of advice I’ve been given this week is just to stay focused on the next 12 hours, not the next few days, weeks, months or even years. I guess this is what mindfulness is all about, the word which everyone’s talking about at the moment, meaning keeping our attention on the present moment rather than dwelling on the past or letting our thoughts race ahead.
Sound advice, but it’s easier said than done.
We’re hoping Rog will be able to spend a bit more time at home this weekend, and even though he may be more tired than last time (I’m writing this as he sleeps), we’re all looking forward to having him close by.
Thanks again for all your kind words this week, they mean so much to us both.