Family,Loss

Sharing our story, love and support

  
I’d just like to say a huge thank you to everyone who has read, commented on and shared my blog this week, mainly because our story has appeared in several newspapers and websites, primarily the Liverpool Echo. What started out as a bit of a hobby has turned into the starkest expression of real life I could ever have imagined. Being able to share our story in this way has always helped me, but now I see how it’s helping others that makes me feel both humbled and priveledged. 

This week I’ve welcomed so many new readers (thank you all!) and had lots of really touching messages – not only from friends of mine, but from old friends of Roger’s and strangers who’ve been moved by what we’re going through. I’ve heard from people who lost their parents at a young age, who want to share their experiences and offer really valuable advice as to how best to cope and try to get through it. I’ve had several emails from people who are going through a similar thing right now, both men and women who are facing the loss of their partners and the thought of a future bringing up their children alone. 

I’ve been told several times that my writing has made people cry, and for that I do apologise, as when I write I’m usually feeling stronger and where it’s cathartic for me, it’s sad for those reading from afar. In the same vein I can usually read my own words back without shedding a tear, but struggle to read the messages and emails I’ve had this week without having a little cry. When something like this happens you can feel so alone, so helpless, but to read what others are going through too suddenly makes you feel you’re not so alone after all. Although I can’t think about how I might cope in the future now, I have found comfort in the letters of those who have been there and got through on the other side.

I’ve had a real sense of being able to help people this week and in a way that’s eased some of the tiredness I felt last week and given me a bit of extra strength to get through another tough week. This rollercoaster ride we are on just keeps on throwing extra hurdles our way, and we’re just holding on tight and trying to go with them for fear that one day they won’t be there at all. 

The best bit of advice I’ve been given this week is just to stay focused on the next 12 hours, not the next few days, weeks, months or even years. I guess this is what mindfulness is all about, the word which everyone’s talking about at the moment, meaning keeping our attention on the present moment rather than dwelling on the past or letting our thoughts race ahead.

Sound advice, but it’s easier said than done. 

We’re hoping Rog will be able to spend a bit more time at home this weekend, and even though he may be more tired than last time (I’m writing this as he sleeps), we’re all looking forward to having him close by. 

Thanks again for all your kind words this week, they mean so much to us both.

X Julia

  

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14 Comments

  • Reply
    Emma
    May 15, 2015 at 1:42 pm

    Julia, I am another who is always so moved by what you write. I usually shed a tear or two. But I’m also always blown away by how incredible you are, how beautiful your words are – you really do write so, so well – how brave and strong you and Roger are, and how blessed I feel to be allowed to share this intensely personal and emotional experience with you.

    Like everyone else, I truly wish life was dealing you an entirely different hand right now.

    Stay strong, keep focussing on those next 12 hours, and here’s to some more precious family time spent together at home this weekend.

    Thinking of you all, as always.
    Fondest love,
    Em xx

  • Reply
    Sally wheatman
    May 15, 2015 at 3:38 pm

    The power of the written word xx
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  • Reply
    Karen
    May 15, 2015 at 3:45 pm

    Heartbreaking, but so powerful that your words can bring people together, touch complete strangers and give strength to others. So proud of your sharing your story. You and Rog are amazing. Love you x

  • Reply
    Cath
    May 15, 2015 at 3:52 pm

    Hiya Julia Have a lovely weekend with your precious husband…hope he is well enough to go home for the weekend….Thinking of you all xxx

  • Reply
    Mini Travellers
    May 16, 2015 at 6:06 am

    Hope you are having a very special weekend with Rog and you two manage to enjoy some of the sunny Wirral weather today. Lots of love. Kx
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  • Reply
    Rachel
    May 16, 2015 at 6:41 am

    Hope you have a lovely weekend. Just wanted to stop by to read your beautiful blog and to say although I haven’t filled the form yet you will have my vote for the MAD awards. This is not however because of your heartbreaking story at the moment – much as I am in awe of your ability to write and clearly touch so many people at this terrible time I just wanted to be clear that this is not a vote of sympathy for your situation. I loved your blog before your recent sad news, in fact it was one of the very first I started following when i started my blog. Of course your writing now just confirms how inspirational I think your blog is! I know this comment will not really help or change anything but I just wanted you to know regardless. Thinking of you. X
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  • Reply
    Kat | Beau Twins
    May 16, 2015 at 6:45 am

    Julia, you are truly a wonderful inspiration. I’m so pleased this is reaching out far and wide and you are helping others as much as they are helping you. Blessed to call you a friend. Love and light always beautiful. Love Kat xxxx
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  • Reply
    Beth Twinderelmo
    May 16, 2015 at 12:32 pm

    I feel so honoured that you are sharing this with us because it’s so real and that you really are helping and insuring others in the same boat. I am so glad your story was able to be read by so many more because it really puts everything in perspective.
    Be proud, have a cry but more importantly suck in every single second because each second gives you a new memory and these are ones to last you a lifetime xxxxc
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  • Reply
    Sarah christie
    May 16, 2015 at 1:20 pm

    Julia you are so brave and it is awful to see your beautiful family go all this headache but what astounds me is the dignity you face it with, and how you have helped others. Enjoy your weekend lovely lady xx
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  • Reply
    Lisa@intotheglade
    May 16, 2015 at 5:09 pm

    I hope you are having a good weekend lovely! The weather has been gorgeous today. Thinking of you all always xx
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  • Reply
    Mackenzie Glanville
    May 17, 2015 at 9:07 am

    You are such a sweetheart, with all you are going through you still take time to thank others, it just shows you are a truly beautiful soul. Thoughts and prayers are with you and I pray you have him with you this weekend xx
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  • Reply
    Angela at Daysinbed
    May 21, 2015 at 10:38 pm

    I am so glad to have connected with you. We have something in common! Blogging through very difficult times! Your an inspiration with courage and very brave. Like you say, Mindfulness, one step at a time. I hope to read more and learn from your experiences. Angela xx

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  • Reply
    Katie /Pouting In Heels
    May 22, 2015 at 10:46 am

    You’re amazing Julia, the fact that you’re even taking time out to THANK people just shows what a beautiful, kind and thoughtful person you are. You have a beautiful way with words, I’m absolutely not surprised that they are helping others and I’m so glad that for you, writing about what’s happening is proving to be cathartic. I just so wish – like I’m sure everyone else does – that you didn’t need to write about it at all. πŸ™

    Continually thinking of you and astounded at your courage. xxx
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  • Reply
    Adventures of a Novice Mum
    May 24, 2015 at 1:53 am

    Wow … words are so hard to find. I just can’t get my head around it. What a difficult path of so much sadness, yet so much strength.

    So glad that sharing your story and hearing about the similar journeys of others has helped.

    It’s very good advice to just focus on the next thing and the next thing and the next thing. There’s no point worry about tomorrow because we’re not in it. What we have is right here, right now; the present. I pray that you’ll get the most out of each moment as you journey on.
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