Chocolate puddings on prescription

It’s almost a week since my last post and I’m sure many of you are wondering what’s gone on since then. It feels like a lifetime ago now, but my husband had just been taken off life support in intensive care and was asking me when he was going to be allowed home. Well sadly he’s still not home, we still don’t have any answers and he still has no guarantees that it won’t happen again.

The good news is that he’s been moved from intensive care to a ward, but the bad news is it’s an isolation ward as he’s been unlucky enough to get C difficile (a pretty nasty tummy bug) while he’s been there. I can still visit, but need to wear rubber gloves and a plastic apron to go in the room, which does little to take your mind off the whole grimness of the situation I can tell you.

There have been some positives though. The doctors haven’t come up with anything totally horrendous as an explanation for his confusion, blurred vision and loss of consciousness. They’ve even listened to a theory of mine which is plausible, if a little odd, and are looking into it further. We’ve talked a bit about what he was like on the night it all happened, and even managed to laugh about one of the questions he was asked in A&E: Who’s the current Prime Minister? Answer – “14!” But the bottom line is we still don’t know what went on, and maybe we never will.

The children aren’t allowed anywhere near him, so we’ve resorted to communicating through video message. The hospital wi-if isn’t strong enough for Skype, but recording a message each day has helped them – especially our eldest – keep in touch with their dad. Tonight’s instalments involved a discussion about the hospital food, especially the fortified chocolate puddings being offered on prescription.

Other positives are the time available on the ward in which to catch up on Spiral, the fab BBC Four police drama that we had intended to watch the night it all went wrong; and the extra time I’ve been able to spend with my parents, who have been amazing as always, supporting me in a crisis by looking after the kids, doing my shopping, cooking and cleaning, and offering some very comforting shoulders to cry on.

So things are looking up now, and I’m hoping it’s onwards and upwards from here. I’m going to try to get back to some more light hearted blog posts, but In the meantime, I’ll keep on feeding my nerves with chocolate and trying not to think about it all too much. I just want to say thanks again for all the lovely messages I’ve had lately, and all the virtual – and real – massive hugs.

X Julia

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