Tomorrow I get to stay overnight with my husband. It won’t be the night away we’d hoped for, in a rural B&B or chi-chi city centre hotel, but it will be just the two of us, hanging out together in the same room, sleeping side by side, and trying to find a bit of space and peace together in this crazy situation.
A week ago, Roger moved from the hospital to our local hospice, Wirral St John’s, and it’s the staff there who suggested we try a sleepover to try to get something close to normality for a few precious hours.
If, like me, you’ve never visited a hospice before, you will probably be thinking what I was thinking a few weeks ago. When it was first mentioned to me that Rog would benefit from its care, I completely freaked out. Isn’t a hospice somewhere you go to die? When you’re put out to pasture, to convalesce with a group of other, much older people, living out their last days?
When the word was first mentioned, tears stung my eyes and I spent the rest of the day in a heap, not knowing what we’d do if there was no hope left. Days later, after we were told there was no treatment he could have, the hospice started to sound like a much nicer option. There’s a lovely cafe there, they said, toys for the kids, support for the whole family, aromatherapy, real home-cooked food and even – perhaps the deal clincher – a drinks trolley!
Just a few days later and he was in, breathing a sign of relief to have a change of scene, more comfortable room, a garden view, a window (patio doors, even) which opened to birdsong and fresh air on his face. Just being able to bring the children to see him and let them spread out a little and relax has made a huge difference. It’s still not easy – there have been some conversations I’d hoped I’d never have to have – but it’s an improvement, and for now, we’ll both take that.
Once I’ve stayed over on my own, we’re hoping to decamp as a family and spend a night closer to dad. We might have hoped for a night away in our caravan (our pet project, supposed to be ready for the spring), but instead we’ll try to have something as close to a holiday as we can get.
Wish us luck!
X Julia
24 Comments
Deb Troops
April 17, 2015 at 4:49 pmCaravans are over-rated Jules a room with a view and patio doors is always fab! Thinking of you and always here x
Deb Troops recently posted…Change is good
Beth Twinderelmo
April 17, 2015 at 5:04 pmsmuggle in some wine & you can be like giggling teenagers on a naughty sleepover!
I’m glad it’s so lovely & so child friendly – bet it feels just like home after they’ve caused a spot of chaos eh?! Enjoy your night together & hopefully you’ll get your family sleepover soon
Sending love as always xx
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Gemma Murphy
April 17, 2015 at 5:38 pmI hope you have a lovely night together xx always in my thoughts and prayers xx
sarah christie
April 17, 2015 at 5:54 pmJulia, it looks like a lovely place, I am so glad you finding a little breathing space and together time xx
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mummyofboygirltwins
April 17, 2015 at 6:27 pmLove his new pad!! Very swish! Have a FAB time together – chat, giggle and enjoy each other. Love and hugs always. Jess xx
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Hayley Smith @hayleyfromhome
April 17, 2015 at 6:52 pmAh that photo of Rog and Flo warms my heart! I am SO glad that it is a better place for him and that you get chance to be together in a slightly more ‘normal’ way: I think hospice is quite a scary word but the extra care they can offer to all of you is really special at this time. Lots of love Julia xx
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Emma & Si
April 17, 2015 at 6:55 pmHi Jules
Simon and I look forward to checking out da new pad and giving you guys some odd faces to bring some laughs for a little while. See you tomorrow and enjoy the night together. Comfort is sometimes just being together – to wake up side by side.
Love to you both x
Kat | Beau Twins
April 17, 2015 at 7:15 pmThe drinks trolley is a total winner. I’m so pleased you will have some alone time together my lovely lady. Hugs and kisses. Precious moments to treasure. Get the drinks on ice and enjoy sweetie. Xxxx
Kat | Beau Twins recently posted…The A-Z Of Me
Janine
April 17, 2015 at 7:40 pmSounds like a lovely place. My mum never made it to that place as we were waiting on a free space. unfortunately she passed away in the palliative care unit March last year.
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Fiveadventurers
April 17, 2015 at 8:03 pmGlad your having a night together. Hope you have a lovely time. Gorgeous pictures
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Mini Travellers
April 17, 2015 at 9:19 pmDrinks trolley – love your style lovely lady! Hope you have that night together, maybe they will let you park your caravan on the lawn! Xx
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Tim
April 17, 2015 at 10:17 pmHave a lovely evening and night together, Julia. Normal is overrated – just have a great time.
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Mackenzie Glanville
April 18, 2015 at 6:29 amYou have amazing strength, love the smiling happy photos, enjoy your special night xx
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Natalie {Little Jam Pot Life - blog}
April 18, 2015 at 7:17 amHave a lovely night together, enjoy each others company and embrace that time. sending you hugs xxxx
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Megan - Truly Madly Kids
April 18, 2015 at 1:57 pmRog looks so happy to see Flo. Lovely, touching pictures. Again, a bravely written post and I am in awe of you. Always in my thoughts xxx
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Ninja cat
April 18, 2015 at 9:30 pmcaravans bah x
Home is where the heart is and your hearts are entwined .
You are amazing and your strength has touched and will continue to touch many .
Ninja cat recently posted…Un Comfortable Being Me
Rachel
April 19, 2015 at 6:18 pmI do hope you had as nice a night away as circumstances allowed. The hospice does sound like a much nicer environment than a hospital. Hope the food was good and the drinks trolley even better. Xx
Adventures of a Novice Mum
April 20, 2015 at 7:18 pmWishing you more than luck … you’re so brave. Hard to read this without some tears. I really pray for comfort and peace during this time; for mass loads of wonderful memories to be created. How my heart goes out to you. You’re such a beautiful family and it’s so lovely that you have really good support.
You know, I teach my students about hospices but it’s a totally different ball game actually experiencing it.
It could have happened to anyone, so sorry it happened to you. Okay, I better stop waffling now; such an emotional time. You’re doing a great job keeping on; well done. So many stand with you in our thoughts and prayers. 🙂
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Lisa@intotheglade
April 21, 2015 at 9:13 amI don’t know how I missed this, we had a mad weekend so maybe that’s why. Oh Julia, I am so glad he is there! They are amazing places, packed to the rafters with wonderful people. I hope your night was peaceful and everything you hoped for x
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May 1, 2015 at 11:03 am[…] been three weeks now since my husband Roger moved to our local hospice, and two weeks since I had my first overnight stay […]
Charlie
June 28, 2015 at 7:07 amSending love as ever.
Hospices are vastly underrated, I’ve raised money for them several times as they offer comfort, care and respite sometimes hospitals can’t.
Will keep all of you in our thoughts. x
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