‘Do the thing you think you cannot do’ – sounds terrifying doesn’t it, but the more you think about it, the more it makes sense. Some of the biggest achievements of my life have been things I thought I couldn’t do – but I think that self-doubt makes the victory all the sweeter.
Of course there have been times when I’ve had to do the things I thought I couldn’t do, because I didn’t want to do them. There are lots of examples of that in the past few years of my life. Watching my husband become so poorly and frail was definitely up there with things I didn’t want to do, and knowing what came after was even worse.
But they say that with great sadness comes personal growth, and to get there I reckon I need a few things to focus on. One of those things has the added benefit of relieving stress, giving me back some alone time and maybe helping me tone up a bit in the process. I know I’ve told you this already and don’t want to turn into a running bore, but, yes it’s running!
It’s free, relatively quick, and it’s billed as nature’s most effective anti-depressant.
It just happened that my return to running (it’s been at least a year) coincided with a team from work signing up to do a 10k.
When they asked if I minded if they ran it in memory of Roger, to raise money for the hospice, how could I not join in too?
Now I can’t really class running 10k as something I don’t think I can do, because I’ve done it before – twice. But did I do it well? No. And did I enjoy it? Not at all! I enjoyed the feeling of achievement it brought, but not the physical feeling of running the damn thing!
Roger got me running in the first place, and I know he’d be so proud to know I was doing it again in his name. Not only that, but I’m part of a team of 24 friends and colleagues from the BBC running the race in Birmingham in May. Together, we are The Substandards, as all of us are journalists and most are sub editors or editors.
If you’d like to sponsor us, I’ve set up a Just Giving page here.
Trying to do something new has given me a focus and brought some kind of meditation in a way. There’s a lot to be said for challenging yourself, and if I can try not to be too much of a cliche, it reminds me of another quote which sticks in my head – life begins at the end of your comfort zone.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not turning into some sort of adrenaline junkie, just trying to work out what it is I want from life and where I could go. It might still be one step at a time, but that feeling is coming that the possibilities are now endless, and with that comes a certain amount of anxiety. But by setting myself little challenges I know I can feel stronger and more able to cope when I realise I’ve ticked each one off.
So I’m going to be making a list of things I want to do, and remembering to celebrate these mini achievements throughout the year.
In the meantime, wish our team luck and I’ll be updating you on how it’s going over the next couple of months.