Family,Loss

From hospital to hospice

 

Tomorrow I get to stay overnight with my husband. It won’t be the night away we’d hoped for, in a rural B&B or chi-chi city centre hotel, but it will be just the two of us, hanging out together in the same room, sleeping side by side, and trying to find a bit of space and peace together in this crazy situation. 

A week ago, Roger moved from the hospital to our local hospice, Wirral St John’s, and it’s the staff there who suggested we try a sleepover to try to get something close to normality for a few precious hours. 

If, like me, you’ve never visited a hospice before, you will probably be thinking what I was thinking a few weeks ago. When it was first mentioned to me that Rog would benefit from its care, I completely freaked out. Isn’t a hospice somewhere you go to die? When you’re put out to pasture, to convalesce with a group of other, much older people, living out their last days? 

  

When the word was first mentioned, tears stung my eyes and I spent the rest of the day in a heap, not knowing what we’d do if there was no hope left. Days later, after we were told there was no treatment he could have, the hospice started to sound like a much nicer option. There’s a lovely cafe there, they said, toys for the kids, support for the whole family, aromatherapy, real home-cooked food and even – perhaps the deal clincher – a drinks trolley!

Just a few days later and he was in, breathing a sign of relief to have a change of scene, more comfortable room, a garden view, a window (patio doors, even) which opened to birdsong and fresh air on his face. Just being able to bring the children to see him and let them spread out a little and relax has made a huge difference. It’s still not easy – there have been some conversations I’d hoped I’d never have to have – but it’s an improvement, and for now, we’ll both take that.

Once I’ve stayed over on my own, we’re hoping to decamp as a family and spend a night closer to dad. We might have hoped for a night away in our caravan (our pet project, supposed to be ready for the spring), but instead we’ll try to have something as close to a holiday as we can get. 

Wish us luck! 

X Julia

  

  

 

  

 

 

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24 Comments

  • Reply
    Deb Troops
    April 17, 2015 at 4:49 pm

    Caravans are over-rated Jules a room with a view and patio doors is always fab! Thinking of you and always here x
    Deb Troops recently posted…Change is goodMy Profile

  • Reply
    Beth Twinderelmo
    April 17, 2015 at 5:04 pm

    smuggle in some wine & you can be like giggling teenagers on a naughty sleepover!
    I’m glad it’s so lovely & so child friendly – bet it feels just like home after they’ve caused a spot of chaos eh?! Enjoy your night together & hopefully you’ll get your family sleepover soon
    Sending love as always xx
    Beth Twinderelmo recently posted…You Don’t Like Me? That’s OK!My Profile

  • Reply
    Gemma Murphy
    April 17, 2015 at 5:38 pm

    I hope you have a lovely night together xx always in my thoughts and prayers xx

  • Reply
    sarah christie
    April 17, 2015 at 5:54 pm

    Julia, it looks like a lovely place, I am so glad you finding a little breathing space and together time xx
    sarah christie recently posted…The Disney TagMy Profile

  • Reply
    mummyofboygirltwins
    April 17, 2015 at 6:27 pm

    Love his new pad!! Very swish! Have a FAB time together – chat, giggle and enjoy each other. Love and hugs always. Jess xx
    mummyofboygirltwins recently posted…My 17 shopping confessionsMy Profile

  • Reply
    Hayley Smith @hayleyfromhome
    April 17, 2015 at 6:52 pm

    Ah that photo of Rog and Flo warms my heart! I am SO glad that it is a better place for him and that you get chance to be together in a slightly more ‘normal’ way: I think hospice is quite a scary word but the extra care they can offer to all of you is really special at this time. Lots of love Julia xx
    Hayley Smith @hayleyfromhome recently posted…New Beginnings {My Captured Moment}My Profile

  • Reply
    Emma & Si
    April 17, 2015 at 6:55 pm

    Hi Jules

    Simon and I look forward to checking out da new pad and giving you guys some odd faces to bring some laughs for a little while. See you tomorrow and enjoy the night together. Comfort is sometimes just being together – to wake up side by side.

    Love to you both x

  • Reply
    Kat | Beau Twins
    April 17, 2015 at 7:15 pm

    The drinks trolley is a total winner. I’m so pleased you will have some alone time together my lovely lady. Hugs and kisses. Precious moments to treasure. Get the drinks on ice and enjoy sweetie. Xxxx
    Kat | Beau Twins recently posted…The A-Z Of MeMy Profile

  • Reply
    Janine
    April 17, 2015 at 7:40 pm

    Sounds like a lovely place. My mum never made it to that place as we were waiting on a free space. unfortunately she passed away in the palliative care unit March last year.
    Janine recently posted…My Family Haul WishlistMy Profile

  • Reply
    Fiveadventurers
    April 17, 2015 at 8:03 pm

    Glad your having a night together. Hope you have a lovely time. Gorgeous pictures
    Fiveadventurers recently posted…50 things that make you happyMy Profile

  • Reply
    Mini Travellers
    April 17, 2015 at 9:19 pm

    Drinks trolley – love your style lovely lady! Hope you have that night together, maybe they will let you park your caravan on the lawn! Xx
    Mini Travellers recently posted…Cruising with Children – Anthem of the SeasMy Profile

  • Reply
    Tim
    April 17, 2015 at 10:17 pm

    Have a lovely evening and night together, Julia. Normal is overrated – just have a great time.
    Tim recently posted…10 more types of people you meet on social mediaMy Profile

  • Reply
    Mackenzie Glanville
    April 18, 2015 at 6:29 am

    You have amazing strength, love the smiling happy photos, enjoy your special night xx
    Mackenzie Glanville recently posted…live with passion #Friday ReflectionsMy Profile

  • Reply
    Natalie {Little Jam Pot Life - blog}
    April 18, 2015 at 7:17 am

    Have a lovely night together, enjoy each others company and embrace that time. sending you hugs xxxx
    Natalie {Little Jam Pot Life – blog} recently posted…Loving the little things 2015 – 16/52My Profile

  • Reply
    Megan - Truly Madly Kids
    April 18, 2015 at 1:57 pm

    Rog looks so happy to see Flo. Lovely, touching pictures. Again, a bravely written post and I am in awe of you. Always in my thoughts xxx
    Megan – Truly Madly Kids recently posted…Image of the Week #12 – Spring has Sprung!My Profile

  • Reply
    Ninja cat
    April 18, 2015 at 9:30 pm

    caravans bah x

    Home is where the heart is and your hearts are entwined .
    You are amazing and your strength has touched and will continue to touch many .
    Ninja cat recently posted…Un Comfortable Being MeMy Profile

  • Reply
    Rachel
    April 19, 2015 at 6:18 pm

    I do hope you had as nice a night away as circumstances allowed. The hospice does sound like a much nicer environment than a hospital. Hope the food was good and the drinks trolley even better. Xx

  • Reply
    Adventures of a Novice Mum
    April 20, 2015 at 7:18 pm

    Wishing you more than luck … you’re so brave. Hard to read this without some tears. I really pray for comfort and peace during this time; for mass loads of wonderful memories to be created. How my heart goes out to you. You’re such a beautiful family and it’s so lovely that you have really good support.

    You know, I teach my students about hospices but it’s a totally different ball game actually experiencing it.

    It could have happened to anyone, so sorry it happened to you. Okay, I better stop waffling now; such an emotional time. You’re doing a great job keeping on; well done. So many stand with you in our thoughts and prayers. πŸ™‚
    Adventures of a Novice Mum recently posted…50 Things that make me happyMy Profile

  • Reply
    Lisa@intotheglade
    April 21, 2015 at 9:13 am

    I don’t know how I missed this, we had a mad weekend so maybe that’s why. Oh Julia, I am so glad he is there! They are amazing places, packed to the rafters with wonderful people. I hope your night was peaceful and everything you hoped for x
    Lisa@intotheglade recently posted…Picnic Food – Cheese and Onion Pasties!My Profile

  • Reply
    A difficult week and a visit home - Rainbeaubelle
    May 1, 2015 at 11:03 am

    […] been three weeks now since my husband Roger moved to our local hospice, and two weeks since I had my first overnight stay […]

  • Reply
    Charlie
    June 28, 2015 at 7:07 am

    Sending love as ever.

    Hospices are vastly underrated, I’ve raised money for them several times as they offer comfort, care and respite sometimes hospitals can’t.

    Will keep all of you in our thoughts. x
    Charlie recently posted…Post SecretMy Profile

  • Reply
    Jazz Rabbits and John Coltrane
    July 14, 2015 at 11:34 am

    […] has come home from the hospice – where he has been an in patient since April – and we are trying to make the most of […]

  • Reply
    Hospice care and giving back - Rainbeaubelle
    October 6, 2015 at 12:02 pm

    […] the hospice became the next step. If nothing else, it would be a change from the over-familiar hospital walls, we thought. When we […]

  • Reply
    The best and worst times - Rainbeaubelle
    October 30, 2015 at 11:41 pm

    […] He’s been at home for 12 days now, the longest he has been out of either hospital or the hospice since January, and it’s been such a nice break being together and as much in the […]

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