I love putting the Me and Mine posts together because it’s a way of making sure we have a family portrait for each month of the year. Already I have seven months covered, the first ones included Roger of course, who we all love and miss so much, and never a day goes by without us all talking about him and me usually shedding a tear or two while we do. As time goes on, I can’t say I’ve felt things get easier. I think I can say I am getting more used to the situation, but I definitely can’t say it feels ok in any way.
This month, I think I’ve probably cried every single day and had some really memorably bad days, like the one last week where I ended up in tears on the train home from work on my own, feeling like I wanted to just be transported home, with no kids to pick up, where I could hide under the covers for as long as I needed to. This didn’t happen of course, and I managed to get it together enough to collect Sam and Flo and go home and carry on as normal.
I think the fact that we’re getting near to Christmas isn’t helping, but my plan to get by is just by focusing on it being a time for the kids and trying to make it magical for them. It’s been a truly awful year for all of us and the least I can do for our children is to try to make this Christmas a happy time.
Anyway, this is taking a different direction to how I’d planned so I’ll get back to telling you about our month. Despite my sadness I’ve been planning lots of things to do throughout the month – another coping strategy and so I’ve had some really lovely meet ups with family and friends. I met my sister in Liverpool to celebrate her birthday, went to my first blogging conference with my brilliant blog buddies, and this weekend we’ve been out to Eureka museum in Halifax, to meet Father Christmas and have a little explore. That’s where the Christmas tree photos were taken, and we had such a good time Sam is already talking about his next visit. That’s also where the photo was taken of Sam with a party hat on his face, which I had to use as it really does capture both my little ones how they really are!
The rest of the photos were taken in our kitchen on my phone, as I’ve had a bit of a camera malfunction and my Nikon has been out of action for a few weeks. Sam and Flo bought me a little tripod grip for my phone (perfect blogger gift) when I was in London last weekend, and we were trying it out with some family selfies. Which we are pretty rubbish at, incidentally!
So that was our November – can you believe the next time I write a Me and Mine post it will be New Year’s Eve and the last day of the year?
x Julia
Take a look at our post from October here.
This post is linked up with the Me and Mine project – hosted by Dear Beautiful, Bump to Baby, Capture By Lucy, Let’s Talk Mommy, Mummy Daddy Me and Tigerlilly Quinn – where you take a photograph a month of your family all together.
24 Comments
Carie
November 30, 2015 at 7:55 amOh I love that Sam’s planning multiple visits to Father Christmas- he must have been a very good Santa! And I’m with you, I can’t believe that we’re nearly at the end of the year either!
Carie recently posted…Me and Mine 2015: November
Rainbeaubelle
December 1, 2015 at 7:26 pmHaha I’m not sure but he needs to be very good from now on! xx
Jo
November 30, 2015 at 7:56 amBeautiful lady you’re so strong & doing an amazing job with two adorable children under circumstances I cant begin to imagine. Be kind to yourself, much love xx
Rainbeaubelle
December 1, 2015 at 7:26 pmThanks so much Jo, lots of love xx
Mrs H
November 30, 2015 at 8:46 amOh Julia. I am so sorry that you have had such an awful month. I don’t think you will ever be okay with the situation but I guess with time you will cope with it better. I love the selfie of you and Sam and Flo. You are stunning. Keep focusing on your children beautiful, make time for yourself and be kind to yourself. Hugs Mrs H xxxx
Mrs H recently posted…Getting through November
Rainbeaubelle
December 1, 2015 at 7:26 pmThanks so much Lucy, a lovely thing to say. That is brilliant advice xx
Hayley (@hayleyfromhome)
November 30, 2015 at 3:24 pmJulia, your Me & Mine always make me so happy and equally sad. You always look so beautiful and they really are such lovely photos of all of you, despite how hard everything is. I wish there was some way to make all of this easier to take, especially at this time of year. I think keeping busy, focussing on the kids is about all you can do to keep going. Look after yourself beautiful lady xx
Hayley (@hayleyfromhome) recently posted…Me & Mine November
Rainbeaubelle
December 1, 2015 at 7:24 pmHayley thank you so much what a lovely comment. Yes keeping busy is key – and making sure I sleep too! xx
sarah christie
November 30, 2015 at 9:11 pmI suppose things are calming down and that is when it hits you, when things are calm and quiet, but you are doing amazingly well Julia, just look at Sam and Flo they seem to be coping so well and that is because you are so amazing. Oh apart from your selfie skills which I have first hand experience with ha ha x
sarah christie recently posted…Feeling Festive and Cinnamon Butter
Rainbeaubelle
December 1, 2015 at 7:23 pmHaha yes my selfie skills definitely need some work don’t they! Thought my new phone would fix it but no!! xx
mummyofboygirltwins
November 30, 2015 at 9:46 pmSo sorry you have had such a tough month. Big hugs. Was lovely seeing you at the blogging conference and I wish we’d had more time to chat. Thinking of you all Christmas this year xxxxx
Rainbeaubelle
December 1, 2015 at 7:23 pmAh I know I wish we had the whole weekend, was so good to see you and all the girls xxx
Caro | The Twinkle Diaries
November 30, 2015 at 11:35 pmAh love – I’m so sorry you’ve been struggling. As I said to you at Blogfest, you’re doing an AMAZING job. I know how much you must miss him – but this is the toughest time. Keep your chin up and keep looking forward. He’d be so proud of you. Love you lots xxxxxx
Caro | The Twinkle Diaries recently posted…142 weeks and 5 days | Me and Mine {November}
Rainbeaubelle
December 1, 2015 at 7:22 pmThanks Caro, I hope he would be proud of me, I miss him so much! So good to see you at Blogfest. Love my twinkles mama! x
Jenna
November 30, 2015 at 11:56 pmI’m so sorry that things haven’t gotten any easier for you, Julia. You are doing an amazing job, even if you don’t feel like you are. If you feel you need to cry every day, then cry every day. There’s nothing wrong with that.
I am so pleased that I finally got to meet you this month after all this time. You are as beautiful, kind and warm as I imagined you would be.
xxx
Jenna recently posted…I Survived the Teacups {Living Arrows #16}
Rainbeaubelle
December 1, 2015 at 6:15 pmThanks so much Jenna. What a wonderful compliment thank you! I really loved meeting you after all this time too xx
Katy (What Katy Said)
December 1, 2015 at 9:18 amI love your dress Julia, gorgeous with those boots! It is still fresh hun, won’t be easier for a long time. My Father in Law cried every day for so long and actually he couldn’t even talk about my mother in law for about 10 years. So you are doing so well to be talking about Roger so openly. Christmas won’t be easy but I think focusing on the children is the best way- it is all for them isn’t it? Big hugs Julia. xxx
Katy (What Katy Said) recently posted…Sprinkling A Little Elf Magic
Rainbeaubelle
December 1, 2015 at 6:10 pmThanks Kate – it is kind of good to know that these feelings are normal, whatever that is! xx
Our Seaside Baby
December 1, 2015 at 3:26 pmI feel for you Julia I really do. You seem so strong though and it sounds like you’re doing an amazing job with the kids and in general. I can see you are a wonderful mum. I wish I had said hello at blogfest but definitely will next time. Lovely photos with lots of smiley faces. Big hugs. Polly xxx 🙂
Our Seaside Baby recently posted…Celebrating Extended Breastfeeding
Rainbeaubelle
December 1, 2015 at 6:09 pmAh yes I wish we had met too it would have been lovely! Next time definitely x
Katie @mummydaddyme
December 1, 2015 at 10:51 pmOh Julia, I can’t even begin to imagine how hard it is for you, especially when it gets to this time of year. Know that I think of you often. You are so strong and you all look very smiley in these photos. I hope you have as good a December as you can possibly can. It was lovely to see you briefly at Blogfest, hopefully it will be for longer next time. x
Rachel @ The Ordinary Lovely
December 2, 2015 at 10:37 pmOh Julia, you know it okay not to be okay. No one expects anything from you so you shouldn’t put pressure on yourself to feel a certain way. Those little two are as happy as they can be given the year you’ve had and that’s all credit to you for providing some normality and an awful lot of fun for them x
Rachel @ The Ordinary Lovely recently posted…Festive flourishes
Mini Travellers
December 3, 2015 at 11:51 amDefinitely going to try and do Me & Mine next year it is a new years resolution. Such lovely photos. Always write what your’re thinking about Rog. You are doing amazing and crying is positively allowed. xxx
Mini Travellers recently posted…My Captured Moment – Christmas Again
Kat | Beau Twins
December 3, 2015 at 10:50 pmI love this and you are totally rocking that top! I so need to get one. I really would love to take part in this linky! I need a new selfie stick! Xxx