Family,Family life

Time on my own (a mum retreat)

Time at home, my mum retreat http://rainbeaubelle.com

Time at home, my mum retreat http://rainbeaubelle.com

I’ve just spent the past few days at home on my own – with no kids, no noise, no-one to look after, no-one to please but myself.

When Roger died, I remember all I wanted to do was have some time to myself, a bit of space to be able to process things and just not have to talk.

As it was the beginning of the school summer holidays that wasn’t something that was going to happen easily, and I know by the end of that six week break I was ready to throw in the towel, crawl into a hole and not come out. If this is what life’s all about, I just don’t think I can do it, I remember saying to my friend, like a woman on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

But guess what? A few days later, when school started and I finally had some quiet time to myself, I started to feel better. I realised all I needed was some time to think, a bit of breathing space and time on my own.

That’s exactly what I needed this week – a chance to relax, catch up on sleep, eat well, exercise and just be myself, before I forgot entirely where that relaxed, not harassed, but kind of calm part of me was!

We were away last week on our holiday in Yorkshire and that was just lovely. I’ve got a post on our little break coming up, I think we all enjoyed hanging out and having some fun without having any deadlines. But family holidays are pretty tiring nonetheless, and as a single parent you have to be all things to all people and it’s exhausting. Luckily my mum and dad offered to give Sam and Florence a bit of a break at their house for a few days so I could come home and recharge my batteries on my own.

Me time http://rainbeaubelle.com

So with a whole two days and three nights to myself, you can imagine how excited I was to get home, lock the door, run a bath and just chill out for a bit. I arrived home at about 5pm, just about the time when my day usually gets pretty hectic with teatime, bedtime and all that. So just to have some downtime at that time of the day was a total revelation!

As busy parents – much as we adore our little ones, it goes without saying – we all know how good it feels to even get an hour on our own, five minutes of me time even. There’s that joke about how we sneak off to the supermarket and feel like it’s a day at a spa… but two whole days solo! That has to be equal to a mum retreat. A few days in a spa has nothing on this. My own bed, my own space, my own rules.

I had so many big plans for my me time. I was going to spring clean the house, sort out my bulging wardrobe, clear out some things I no longer need from the loft, batch cook healthy meals for the next week. Oh yeah, I was going to do all this, and then I was going to relax.

But the reality of my mum retreat was that I was just too tired to do any of that, and thank goodness, because where would I have been if I’d have wasted my precious time alone on housework? More tired, that’s where!

Instead, I’ve had a few early nights and lie-ins; I’ve drunk tea in bed; I’ve caught up on a bit of writing; I’ve watched three episodes of my current favourite programme, The A Word and a few of Girls.

I’ve been for two runs; I’ve been shopping after work; I’ve eaten out with a friend; I have just been me.

With the children coming back today, I really am looking forward to seeing them and I can’t say I haven’t missed them because I have – especially when my mum sent me a photo of Flo riding a pony (sob!).

But the benefit of that quiet time on my widow’s brain (which really is a thing, apparently) has been immense.

So mum, when are next free…?

x Julia

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10 Comments

  • Reply
    Carie @ Space for the Butterflies
    April 12, 2016 at 8:36 pm

    Oh how lovely of your Mum and Dad! That sounds like a perfect Mum retreat, I’m glad you made the most of it!
    Carie @ Space for the Butterflies recently posted…Five for a TuesdayMy Profile

  • Reply
    Donna
    April 12, 2016 at 9:26 pm

    It sounds like you needed a break, as we all do, and I’m glad you got a good chunk of time to recharge x
    Donna recently posted…A Pizza Express Party for the #PizzaExpressFamily – Westfield, StratfordMy Profile

  • Reply
    Flossy and Jim
    April 13, 2016 at 8:20 am

    So glad to hear you have had some precious time to yourself Julia! Much deserved! Xx

  • Reply
    Natalie
    April 13, 2016 at 11:13 am

    Ah lovely its nice to hear you have had some much needed rest, life does get on top of us Mums and we do need time to recharge. Tea in bed and TV sounds perfect to me!!! xxx
    Natalie recently posted…Blogging goalsMy Profile

  • Reply
    Our Seaside Baby
    April 13, 2016 at 9:44 pm

    Looking after kids and single parenting can be exhausting. I’m so glad you’ve had a chance to relax and recharge for a few days. Polly x
    Our Seaside Baby recently posted…Silent SundayMy Profile

  • Reply
    Katie LifeonVistaStreet Haydock
    April 17, 2016 at 6:51 am

    A little bit of time to yourself sounds LUSH! Sometimes our brains just need a bit of a re-charge. I find all of the constant decision making as a ‘grown up’ exhausting!
    I’m glad you are getting time to yourself xXx
    Katie LifeonVistaStreet Haydock recently posted…18 Slimming World Struggles & How To Overcome ThemMy Profile

    • Reply
      Rainbeaubelle
      April 18, 2016 at 8:22 pm

      Thanks Katie, it definitely was so good, it made me think how much I really needed the break xx

  • Reply
    Mum
    April 17, 2016 at 6:30 pm

    So glad you enjoyed your bit of much needed chilling time Julles! Just sorry it was such a short time but we really love having Sam and Flo to stay so anytime you can fit in another little break its fine with us! Xx

    • Reply
      Rainbeaubelle
      April 18, 2016 at 8:34 pm

      Ah yes thank you! Just checking my diary! 🙂 xxxx

  • Reply
    Kate / Pouting In Heels
    April 22, 2016 at 1:08 pm

    So glad you had some time alone to relax and that you forgot about the big ‘to do’ list and just enjoyed chilling out a bit! Every mum needs some alone time to recharge those batteries, and after what you’ve been through the past year, you especially. Hope you’re still feeling the benefits from your ‘mum retreat’?! 🙂 X

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