Loss

Birthday balloons in the sky

Balloons for Daddy in April http://rainbeaubelle.com

Balloons for April http://rainbeaubelle.com

It’s becoming a tradition in our little family that on certain dates of the year we let balloons go into the sky for Roger. This week we did it for the third time to mark what would have been his birthday – it seemed a perfect time to send up some party balloons, just in case, you know, he could see them wherever he is now.

I’m partly joking here, but there’s always a bit of me which hopes he’s watching, knowing the three of us are sending him up so much love along with the shiny balloons.

It’s something I hope to continue as it’s such a fun thing to do on days when it would be so very easy to spend the whole time feeling sad. We started the balloon thing on the day of the funeral, and did it again down at the beach just before Christmas.

I can’t really say it’s on dates when we miss him, because we miss him every day. There isn’t a minute that goes by when I don’t think of him, and Sam and Florence talk about him a lot. There’s absolutely no danger of any of us forgetting, and I think it’s so positive that we all talk about him together whenever we feel we want to.

Florence still talks about her daddy’s side of the bed, or her daddy’s side of the car (the passenger side), and she chatters a lot about how he was at her birthday party last year. This amazes me because it was only her second birthday, but it’s such a special memory for her as it was a get together we had less than a week before Rog died. She’s often saying how she sat next to her daddy and blew the candles out on her lovely pink cake.

Letting balloons go for daddy

Balloons for April http://rainbeaubelle.com

Sam has started to insist on listening to his dad’s favourite CD in the car (AC/DC Highway to Hell if you’re interested), and loves talking about things he did with his dad, books they read together and how they liked to cuddle up on the sofa.

This time of year is a pretty hectic one for us and there seems to have been some kind of important date every weekend since the beginning of March. There was our wedding anniversary, Mother’s Day, Easter weekend, my birthday, now Rog’s birthday and next week it’s Sam’s birthday. Thank goodness Flo is a summer baby as I’m starting to feel pretty exhausted and partied out if I’m honest!

Back to the balloons – we’ve always used red ones before – partly because they show up really well in the sky and partly because Rog was a Liverpool fan. This time the kids picked their own colours, and not being stereotypical at all they went for pink and blue ones with ‘Happy Birthday’ on. We were lucky enough to get a few days away this week so on the day of Rog’s birthday we drove over to the cottage we were staying in in Pickering, North Yorkshire, the balloons secured in a bin bag on the front seat of the car.

More on our mini break soon but for now you can see the lovely little garden outside the cottage where we set the balloons free. It felt a little bit like we’d brought a bit of Rog on holiday with us, which for our first trip away just the three of us felt really nice.

This time last year, I remember taking a cake into his hospital room only to be told it was against health and safety to light the candles! Well this year we still didn’t have candles but luckily we did have cake, an amazing Victoria sponge baked for us by the owner of the cottage as a welcome surprise. Happy Birthday Rog!

x Julia

Balloons for Daddy in April http://rainbeaubelle.com

Balloons let go in April http://rainbeaubelle.com

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11 Comments

  • Reply
    Steph
    April 9, 2016 at 7:55 pm

    Oh Julia, you are such a superstar. You’ve really gone through it all again so much lately haven’t you with all those anniversaries, but I think the balloons mark the occasions just perfectly. I too believe (or like to believe) that people are totally looking down on us from above and can see things we’re up to. So much so that when I had some naughty cigarettes last year through our little hiccup, I felt like a naughty schoolgirl with Claire peeping over my shoulder!! But I like it that way. And it seems it’s working for your beautiful little family too. Lovely post as always. Steph xxx
    Steph recently posted…Another Weekend, Another WalkMy Profile

  • Reply
    Kim Carberry
    April 9, 2016 at 10:53 pm

    You and your family are amazing! So strong….
    The balloons are such a lovely thought….
    Sending love and hugs x
    Kim Carberry recently posted…A photo everyday for a year! #Project366 – Week 14My Profile

  • Reply
    Mackenzie Glanville
    April 10, 2016 at 7:01 am

    I love how Flo talks about him, she is so precious. Big love to you and your darlings xx

  • Reply
    Hayley Smith @hayleyfromhome
    April 10, 2016 at 7:47 am

    I’m so glad you enjoyed your break Julia, it must be nice to spend a bit of time away from it all and I’m looking forward to reading more about your stay. What a lovely tradition you have now, it would be so easy to shut out the world on these difficult days but going out to release the balloons is a great way to mark the day. I love how much you talk about Roger. So sweet that Flo remembers all that, they’ll be such precious memories for her, and listening to ACDC is always good πŸ™‚ xxx
    Hayley Smith @hayleyfromhome recently posted…A Quiet WeekMy Profile

  • Reply
    Michel Sparling
    April 11, 2016 at 5:02 am

    I also love using balloons when it comes to celebrations – be it birthdays or anniversaries. It makes the event much more memorable.

  • Reply
    Suz
    April 11, 2016 at 6:07 am

    I am amazed at what my two remember about their dad. Such a lovely tradition you have started, not so sure about AC/DC, think my Bruce Springsteen requests are a little easier on the ear xxx

  • Reply
    Claire
    April 11, 2016 at 7:41 am

    As ever your positivity is amazing x can’t wait to hear about your trip away as it sounds great. It must be great that the kids have their memories & are chatting about Rog all the time, a great way to keep him with you. I love the balloon idea, such a happy memorial x hope you have a quieter few weeks coming so that you can catch up with yourself x

  • Reply
    Anne
    April 11, 2016 at 10:46 am

    It’s your memories that keep Rog alive in your hearts. A favourite author of mine said “Do you not know a man is not dead while his name is still spoken?” It’s lovely that your children remember so much. My dad passed away when I was eight and we never real spoke much about him as a family. In fact I was talking to my (much) older brother the other week and for the first time he was chatting about Dad, and I was like “oh, I never knew that!” It would have meant so much to me keeping my Dad’s memory alive rather than thinking it would be better that he was not mentioned.
    Anne recently posted…Medical MysteriesMy Profile

  • Reply
    Natalie
    April 13, 2016 at 11:16 am

    A lovely idea Julia and I am sure he was watching and smiling and feeling mighty proud of his lovely family.
    Natalie recently posted…Blogging goalsMy Profile

  • Reply
    Katie LifeonVistaStreet Haydock
    April 17, 2016 at 6:35 am

    Such a lovely way to mark the occasion Julia xx
    Katie LifeonVistaStreet Haydock recently posted…18 Slimming World Struggles & How To Overcome ThemMy Profile

  • Reply
    Me and Mine April 2016 - Rainbeaubelle
    May 2, 2016 at 7:44 pm

    […] seems to have gone by so quickly but we have packed so much in – like marking Roger’s birthday, taking our first little family of three trip away to North Yorkshire, and training for the Great […]

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