It has become tradition now that on special dates we let balloons go up in the sky in memory of Roger.
I can’t say it’s on days when we want to remember him because of course we remember him every single day. He’s with me on this journey and I think about him all the time; whatever happens in my life I don’t imagine that will change.
It’s more the dates that I think Sam and Flo would want to mark for their dad that make me want to carry on the tradition.
My birthday, Roger’s and Sam’s all fall within three weeks so March and April were always busy party months in our house.
Rog was ten years older than me so where I turned 40 last week, he would have been 50 this week.
I always said we’d have a big joint party to celebrate and although he wasn’t there with me last weekend, he was in spirit.
I still can’t believe that a man who appeared to be so fit and so full of life could die before the age of 50. It’s another thing that reminds me how we all take life for granted and need to make the most of what we have before it’s too late.
The last time we set balloons free was on Roger’s birthday last year, when the three of us we were on holiday at a cottage in Pickering, North Yorkshire.
Looking back at that post now, I love having the photographs to keep and to show Sam and Flo how we marked these days as they get older.
The weather was much better this year, the sun shone as we made our way up to the Cow and Calf Rocks in Ilkley in the early evening.
The golden light was perfect for our little ceremony and as it was quite late in the day we were pretty much the only ones there.
Watching the balloons float across the valley was a lovely thing and I hope doing things like this here helps make the children feel this is their home.
Making memories in new places means a lot and although I don’t want to ever forget where we used to live, as a mum I want my children to be happy and feel settled and secure.
Watching them excitedly shout ‘happy birthday daddy’ from the top of the moor is a perfect reminder of what I have and what’s important in my life. I hope they remember these moments like I will and are glad we remembered and honoured their daddy on these special days.