Family,Loss

Cancer, kindness and cake

 

This post could also have been called Eat, Pray, Love as that’s what it’s all about. I’ve had without doubt the worst week of my life. We’ve been trying to come to terms with the news that my husband has been diagnosed with bowel cancer, and the very strong possibility that it has spread to his lungs. After months of waiting in hospital for the doctors to work out the cause of his pain, we’ve had yet more waiting – this time for a further scan to find out just how bad the situation is.

In the 10 days since we were told the news we’ve sat together, feeling numb, in shock and just feeling really, really sad. We’ve cried a lot, laughed a bit, falling between the worst and best possible outcomes several times a day. We’ve got a few more days to wait until we find out if there’s any treatment they think they can give – they’re going to be really long days ahead. 

Every day I’ve been at the hospital spending time with Rog before picking the kids up, trying to pretend everything’s normal, hoping the routine will be a comfort to us all. I’ve taken them both in for visits, learning the hard way that taking them both in together is no comfort to anyone! 

Once they’d scoured the room for food, pressed every button and pulled every wire, climbed over the bed and the chairs (Flo) and hijacked the iPad (Sam), it really wasn’t the relaxing family time I’d hoped for. That said, it was normal, and normality in this hideous week is a very good thing. 

Despite all the sadness, I’ve been touched by all the messages we’ve had from friends, the support we’ve had is just amazing and really does help to keep us looking for the positive. My house is full of flowers, even with the new vases I bought to cope with demand last time I’m struggling to display them all! Prayers are being said in all corners of the world, thanks to a kind and caring colleague who contacted his friends to tell them our story. And support comes in all guises – remember those floor tiles I was worrying about? Well my dad fixed them. 

As well as the flowers, messages and shows of support, there has been cake, and the astonishing kindness of strangers. On Saturday, as I sat with Rog in hospital, the nurse came in with a huge box with a carrot cake inside. It had been delivered to hospital by a lovely lady called Lisa who I’ve never met, but who lives near me and writes a blog called Into the Glade

She, along with so many others, has been sending me messages of support since reading my post last week about our horrendous news. I commented on her beautiful baking skills on an Instagram photo, and she set about making us a cake just to put a smile on our faces. How lovely is that? We were so touched. As well as the carrot cake I’ve had scones from a friend and date and walnut loaf from my mum. So maybe, just maybe, where there’s cake, there’s hope. Or is it the other way round? Where there’s hope, there’s cake. Both sound good to me. 

X Julia

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33 Comments

  • Reply
    Deb Troops
    March 23, 2015 at 1:30 pm

    Jules miracles happen. When my son was in ICU I was told that was what we needed. 4 years later Josh is here.
    Deb Troops recently posted…Change is goodMy Profile

    • Reply
      Rainbeaubelle
      March 23, 2015 at 8:39 pm

      Thanks Debs, I am hoping for the same xxx

  • Reply
    Emma Beddow
    March 23, 2015 at 1:43 pm

    Julia – you are one of the strongest women I know and you have such a kind heart – you guys deserve a bit of looking after. Thinking of you guys, always xx

    • Reply
      Rainbeaubelle
      March 23, 2015 at 8:39 pm

      Thanks Emma xxx

  • Reply
    Cath J
    March 23, 2015 at 2:29 pm

    Lots and lots of prayers for you from the Jolleys…not sure my cake would help anyone!xxx

    • Reply
      Rainbeaubelle
      March 23, 2015 at 8:38 pm

      Thanks Cath! Keep having a word with the big man for me please xxx

  • Reply
    Lisa@intotheglade
    March 23, 2015 at 3:00 pm

    Julia bless you lovely, it was really kind of you to mention me like this but it really was only a cake and you have said thank you already! People are reaching out to you because your posts are always so warm and sunny , it’s clear that despite adversity you are someone who reaches out and you are a loving family. Even those of us who have never met you cannot fail to be moved by your and Roger’s fight and like deb says, we are all routing for the miracle. Take care lovely xx
    Lisa@intotheglade recently posted…Spicy Orange Cake!My Profile

    • Reply
      Rainbeaubelle
      March 23, 2015 at 8:38 pm

      Thanks so much, you really are such a kind person too and we were so touched! Xx

  • Reply
    Caro | The Twinkles Momma
    March 23, 2015 at 3:09 pm

    Your strength is amazing Ju – we’re all wishing for a little miracle. I hope, more than anything, that you and Rog have some good news about his treatment and diagnosis. Keep the faith pet – everyone’s praying for a positive result.

    Caro | http://www.thetwinklediaries.co.uk
    Caro | The Twinkles Momma recently posted…The Twinterview | Amber from Goblin ChildMy Profile

    • Reply
      Rainbeaubelle
      March 23, 2015 at 8:37 pm

      Thanks Caro, that is lovely xxx

  • Reply
    Beth Twinderelmo
    March 23, 2015 at 5:40 pm

    Everything crossed that there is some treatment. You know where I am xx
    Beth Twinderelmo recently posted…BritMums Live 2015 – My SponsorMy Profile

    • Reply
      Rainbeaubelle
      March 23, 2015 at 8:37 pm

      Thank you lovely xx

  • Reply
    Sally wheatman
    March 23, 2015 at 7:22 pm

    Julia, you write so beautifully and honestly during such difficult times. Sending lots of love xx
    Sally wheatman recently posted…This April in Blogging U.: The Return of Writing 101!My Profile

    • Reply
      Rainbeaubelle
      March 23, 2015 at 8:37 pm

      Thanks so much Sally xxx

    • Reply
      Rainbeaubelle
      March 25, 2015 at 12:03 pm

      Thank you Sally xx

  • Reply
    Rosa
    March 23, 2015 at 10:37 pm

    You are an amazing woman Julia. It’s hard to comprehend that some of us are dealt such difficult hands with life. It’s so unfair and why when we are good people. Thank goodness for our children who make us get on and live a relatively normal life because we have to, no matter how terrible we feel. I will be thinking of you over the next few days and send you every ounce of love and hope. Xxx

    • Reply
      Rainbeaubelle
      March 25, 2015 at 12:02 pm

      Thanks Rosa, that means a lot xxx lots of love

  • Reply
    Mackenzie Glanville
    March 24, 2015 at 1:46 am

    You are truly a beautiful person and this post made me cry and smile, your children just sound so adorable. Much love to you xx
    Mackenzie Glanville recently posted…What sort of a day did you have?My Profile

    • Reply
      Rainbeaubelle
      March 25, 2015 at 12:02 pm

      Thanks so much xx

  • Reply
    Rachel @ The Ordinary Lovely
    March 24, 2015 at 7:57 pm

    I’ve just been catching up on your blog and can’t believe what you’re going through. I simply can’t imagine how tough it must be. Huge, huge hugs xx
    Rachel @ The Ordinary Lovely recently posted…DIY origami crane mobile (aka finding a use for one of the many sticks in my house)My Profile

    • Reply
      Rainbeaubelle
      March 25, 2015 at 12:02 pm

      Thanks so much xx

  • Reply
    Sarah Doyle - let them be small
    March 24, 2015 at 9:09 pm

    sending you love x
    Sarah Doyle – let them be small recently posted…Bluestone Wales ActivitiesMy Profile

    • Reply
      Rainbeaubelle
      March 25, 2015 at 12:02 pm

      Thank you xx

  • Reply
    mummyofboygirltwins
    March 25, 2015 at 8:36 am

    Everyone needs cake. Especially you. Big hugs and love, always xx
    mummyofboygirltwins recently posted…Blogging: a journey not a destinationMy Profile

    • Reply
      Rainbeaubelle
      March 25, 2015 at 12:02 pm

      Thanks Jess xx

  • Reply
    International Elf Service
    March 26, 2015 at 11:24 am

    Oh Julia, I’m so sorry you’re having such a horribly difficult time. I wish I could say something to magic it all better for you but I’m so pleased to have discovered your blog. Lots of love xxx
    International Elf Service recently posted…Courgette & Watercress SoupMy Profile

    • Reply
      Rainbeaubelle
      March 26, 2015 at 3:22 pm

      Thank you so much! Xx

  • Reply
    Brighton Mama @ Our Seaside Baby
    March 26, 2015 at 12:57 pm

    So sorry to hear this, it must be absolutely dreadful to go through. My old colleague’s husband was given 6 months in 2008 – he’s still here now and doing well. So there is hope… You sound like you have some amazing support – so nice of another blogger to send you cake xx
    Brighton Mama @ Our Seaside Baby recently posted…Win an original Toot the Tiny Tugboat Print by Sebastien BraunMy Profile

    • Reply
      Rainbeaubelle
      March 26, 2015 at 3:22 pm

      Thank you so much for the hopeful comment! Still just keeping everything crossed xxx

  • Reply
    Vickie
    March 28, 2015 at 4:40 pm

    I am so glad that you have such wonderful friends and family around you. You are amazing and so strong, I am sure lesser people would have crumpled to their knees. You really are such an inspiration to me and so many others Julia. I hope that the next lot of news from Rog’s doctors is more positive.

    Take care. Vx

    • Reply
      Rainbeaubelle
      March 29, 2015 at 9:51 am

      That’s so nice of you to say, thank you Vickie xx

  • Reply
    sarah christie
    March 29, 2015 at 7:24 pm

    Julia I have everything crossed for you all, lots of love xxx
    sarah christie recently posted…My Sunday Photo, No Words Just MmmmMy Profile

  • Reply
    teacuptoria
    March 31, 2015 at 3:26 pm

    Hello lovely Julia, well you deserve all the love, support and cake in the world right now. Isn’t it beautiful when people reach out to each other at times like these. You must feel that life is very strange and surreal right now but I think you’re doing a great job. Visiting Rog and looking after the kids…whilst probably always trying to put a brave face on for them all. Just remember you are braver and stronger than you can ever imagine. Hugs and hope the cake keeps coming your way. xx
    teacuptoria recently posted…Divorce – My StoryMy Profile

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